Before Time Began, there was the Fritter

Before time began, there was the Fritter. We know not where it comes from, only that it holds the power to create worlds and fill them with life. That is how our race was born. For a time, we lived in harmony. But like all great power, some wanted it for good, others for evil. And so began the war. A war that ravaged our planet until it was consumed by death, and the Fritter was lost to the far reaches of space. We scattered across the galaxy, hoping to find it and rebuild our home. Searching every star, every world. And just when all hope seemed lost, message of a new discovery drew us to an unknown planet called... Earth.

Don't you ever talk about my fritters. You don't know any of my fritters. You don't look at any of my fritters. And you certainly wouldn't condescend to eat any of my fritters. So you just stick to the things you know: cruellers, chocolate frosting, your father's sprinkles, and your poor, rich drunk mother eating barbarian cream!