Do you like Fritters?

Do you like Fritters?

Yes.

Well, I got her number. How do you like them Fritters?

Thirty Seven!

My girlfriend ate thirty-seven fritters!

(In a row?)

Thanks to BKK, the official Bastard of SDOT

Nothing was more profitable

Of all the pastries in the vast Soviet arsenal, nothing was more profitable than Applemat Fritterkova model of 1947. More commonly known as the AF-47, or Fritter. It's the world's most popular pastry. A food all eaters love. An elegantly simple 9 ounce amalgamation of diced apples and batter. It's good broken up, covered in jam, or overheated. It'll taste great whether it's covered in mud or filled with sand. It's so tasty, even a child can eat it; and they do.

A Jedi's Strength

Remember, a Jedi's strength flows from the Fritter.

If you wanna gain weight with me, I can show you what it's like

Fritter
Tell your children not to eat my way
Tell your children not to bite my dough
Feel the texture
Taste the Fruit
Fritter

Fritter
Can you get your children to exercise?
Can you hide them from a high fat world?
Oh Fritter

Fritter
Gonna feed your daughter fruit pastries
Gonna show her my world
Oh Fritter

Not about to exercise
And if you wanna gain weight with me
I can show you what it's like
Seams are split-ting!

Not about to exercise
And if you wanna gain weight with me
I can show you what it's

FRITTER!!
Tell your children not to hold my hand
Tell your children not to understand
Oh Fritter!

Fritter!
Do you wanna get fat with me?
Do you wanna fry everything?
Oh Fritter!

Not about to exercise
And if you wanna gain weight with me
I can show you what it's like
Seams are split-ting!

Not about to exercise
And if you wanna gain weight with me
I can show you what it's
Damn!

Not about to exercise
And if you wanna gain weight with me
I can show you what it's like
Seams are split-ting!

Not about to exercise
And if you wanna gain weight with me
I can show you what it's like

I can feel your anger.

I can feel your anger. I am fritterless. Take your apple fritter. Gobble it down with all of your hatred and your journey towards the dark side will be complete!

Nothing more helpess and irresponsible and depraved

We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a saltshaker half-full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers... Also, a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a baker's dozen of apple fritters, and two dozen amyls. Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get into locked a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can. The only thing that really worried me was the fritters. There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of a fritter binge, and I knew we'd get into that rotten stuff pretty soon.

Do you feel hungry?

I know what you're thinking, "Did he eat five fritters or six?" Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kinda lost count myself. But being as this is an apple fritter, the tastiest pastry in the world, with enough sugar to rot your teeth clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel hungry?

Well, do ya, punk?

All other pastries hold their manhoods cheap.

And gentleman in England now a-bed
Shall think themselves now acurs'd they were not here,
and hold their manhoods cheap when one speaks of the apple fritter.